Enlightenment
For my beautiful sister, Mer, who seeks inspiration to reach clarity, but also clarity to be inspired. Blessed are those who do not fear dilemmas.
He had a gust of mental clarity — a moment of inspiration — and suddenly accessed a deep insight that brought definitive peace of mind to the demons that had been torturing him every night for the last few years. The sandy breeze of the desert interrupted the ecstasy and brought him back to the human plane of his consciousness, together with a new cluster of truths that would underpin the unstoppable deployment of his actions.
Coming back to town, he understood that it is the determination that changes the world and not the truth or a lie, insignificant accessories that small men use to avoid transcendent decisions. He reasoned that miseries are often an essential part of a whole; that truth needs, sometimes in an irretrievable way, the defect of deception in order to impose. There was no place in his revolution for stopping to resolve contradictions and he was convinced that if they ever became known, they would be forgiven by other men as imperfect as him.
He decided that he would change the world in his own way, with the available options, instead of waiting for better men to do so in a cleaner way. He admitted that his actions would not stand apart from his own speech and that he would also be a sinner. But he wouldn’t deny it. On the contrary, he would introduce himself as the first of the sinners.
He thought the work he had conceived was a masterpiece so he gave himself body and soul to its realization. He realized that his time (like that of all men) was short, and therefore he should not waste it in unreasonable hesitation.
He knew that, sooner or later, he would have to face death. He took it on almost undisturbed, with all the stoicism that a human being is capable of… so little, and perhaps for this reason, so inspiring. His death was not only inevitable but also necessary.
The idea of failure caused him more fear than the fear of his own death. The possibility of giving up his life in vain tortured him. He tried, unsuccessfully, to drive this sight out of his spirit. He turned to face it and realized that a failure would not be so important since in that case, he would give his life in his own law: giving it up to other men.
He reviewed the broad outlines of his plan and felt at peace, as rewarded in advance. He understood then that the true joy was, after all, to let himself go completely, leaving the later consequences on a secondary plane. To surrender to fate, erasing the possibility of choosing other paths.
Finally, he felt privileged because he could clearly understand the meaning of his life. That search that had always tormented men (and would always torment them) was over for him. He summed up this feeling of fullness on credit in a motto: “Blessed am I, for I believe without having seen”.
Translation by Carolina Quintana, translator and simultaneous interpreter specialized in art and literature
carodetigre[at]hotmail.com
Original version (in spanish)
